Its been a month or so since I started this so maybe its time to explain the methods of poppiopushover. I know judging by just that moniker one might get the wrong impression about what I am trying to say. I am not about giving in and always saying yes instead I am more about finding ways to say “no” less. I realized a long time ago when it came to my kids I was not going to be the tough disciplinarian, it just isn’t me. My way has always been about breaking tension with humor so when I do get mad it is usually more laughable than anything else. I
read once that you should always focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses, so that is what I have done. I am good at explaining things to people and helping them find their own solutions, good enough to make a nice living out o fit for the last twenty years so I thought why not apply that to my parenting as well. I want my kids to know that they are limitless, that the only thing that can stop them is themselves. Unfortunately I see them bombarded daily by people saying no to just about all of their wants and desires and honestly I just couldn’t join that parade. So when the kids want something , big or small, we talk about in a way that teaches them there are prices and consequences for everything, I see it as emotional haggling. If you do this or get that then this is outcome, are you willing to live with that? That might sound a little intense when your kid wants a toy or something but it usually works itself out very quickly. Just like that day at the airport when Henry wanted the boat, and thus earned me my nickname, I could have just said “no, go sit back down” but instead I worked with him for a minute and look at what it has brought us. I do not claim to be an expert on any of this stuff but I do know that just a little effort to move away from no has brought me so much joy in my life as a parent. In case you’re wondering they do not always get what they want but when it happens it is usually their choice and decision which will help them in the future when the stakes become higher. That is the movement, literally, find ways to get away from “no” and move towards “What do you think”?